22 March 2006

self-involvement as defiance

Just to continue the completely unappreciated roll I've been of late—FOUR new thrilling blog posts in FOUR days—I figured I'd bore both my readers with yet one more scintillating puddle of dumpth.

Today was an odd day. For the first time in a long long time, I was allowed to sit and write. And I don't mean the pointless "drooling on chat boards" kind of writing which has all the lasting relevance of a fart in a stiff breeze, but actual By God working-from-an-outline, head-down, dander-up focused intentional effort designed to create words you can one day show to your grandkids and say "See? I wasn't always a toothless bitter old fuck!"

And a good day of writing it was. When the dust settled in mid-afternoon (alas, I have found over the years that my peak hours of serious creative usefulness seem to fall between 9 AM and 2 PM), I'd managed TEN new pages on the rom-com spec. I'm now boasting 79 pages in the can, with maybe 25 more to go before I start getting really really concerned that I really ought to be stopping now... but that's another concern for another day. Today I feel stoked to have done a decent job, if I do say myself (and I do, so bite me), banging out three or four scenes which all have some spark and sizzle and charm and wit and rhythm to them. Additionally, I managed a good hour of staring into space and visualizing some major beats on two other projects in my brain which are now starting to gel into visible understandable approachable ideas of actual potential value.

So "yay, me."

I still doubt I'll come close to making the best-case scenario results I'd once hoped to achieve by May 1 of this year—the hope at one point was to have one new spec ready to show, last year's drama polished to a high sheen, and a new project roughed into outline/first assembly form. Right now I'm starting to feel a little better that the romcom spec will at least be completed by May 1, and there's still a slim chance for the drama polish. The third project... well, that's now looking like my focus for June, along with a possible partnering gig, and maybe some overdue attention on one of a pair of goofy comedy concepts I still love after three or four years of squishing them around in my head like Play•Doh.

I'm sure I could force out come complaints if I needed to—so long as there are people, there will be reasons to piss and moan—but overall... not a bad day.

And I'm not entirely sure what to make of that on a Wednesday.
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B

4 comments:

Julie O. said...

You go, girl.

;)

Brett said...

Oh, I'm gone, man. GONE.
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B

suzbays said...

Ten pages! That's impressive. It also makes MY head hurt to think about all that writing. I'm glad you did it, though, since I didn't.

lighterate said...

I wonder if there is a heaven for failed writers, and we will all suddenly get the recognition we angsted for on this earth.