21 April 2010

Happy San Jacinto Day



"On this field on April 21, 1836 the Army of Texas commanded by General Sam Houston, and accompanied by the Secretary of War, Thomas J. Rusk, attacked the larger invading army of Mexicans under General Santa Anna. The battle line from left to right was formed by Sidney Sherman's regiment, Edward Burleson's regiment, the artillery commanded by George W. Hockley, Henry Millard's infantry and the cavalry under Mirabeau B. Lamar. Sam Houston led the infantry charge.

With the battle cry, "Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad!" the Texans charged. The enemy taken by surprise, rallied for a few minutes then fled in disorder. The Texans had asked no quarter and gave none. The slaughter was appalling, victory complete, and Texas free! On the following day General Antonio Lopez De Santa Anna, self-styled "Napoleon of the West," received from a generous foe the mercy he had denied Travis at the Alamo and Fannin at Goliad.

Citizens of Texas and immigrant soldiers in the Army of Texas at San Jacinto were natives of Alabama, Arkansas, Connecticut, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, New Hampshire, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, Austria, Canada, England, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Mexico, Poland, Portugal and Scotland.

Measured by its results, San Jacinto was one of the decisive battles of the world. The freedom of Texas from Mexico won here led to annexation and to the Mexican-American War, resulting in the acquisition by the United States of the states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, California, Utah and parts of Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas and Oklahoma. Almost one-third of the present area of the American Nation, nearly a million square miles of territory, changed sovereignty."



Saaaaaaaaa-lute.

Happy San Jacinto Day, y'all.
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under the "A" in "TEXAS" B

20 April 2010

once upon a time at starbucks

FADE IN


INT. STARBUCKS COUNTER INSIDE TARGET - DAY

BRETT (40-ish, pissy, ruggedly handsome) wanders to the
counter, sighs.

STARBUCKS LADY
Good afternoon! How can I help you?

BRETT
Medium latté, please.

STARBUCKS LADY
Oooooo, I'm sorry! My cash register
is broken...

Starbucks Lady gestures towards register like some
hostess on The Price Is Right.

STARBUCKS LADY (cont.)
... so I can't make any coffee
drinks...

Starbucks Lady now gestures towards coffee maker, again
like some hostess on The Price Is Right.

STARBUCKS LADY (cont.)
... but is there anything else I can
offer you?

Starbucks Lady gives a Stepford smile. Brett glowers.

BRETT
You mean, besides this scintillating
conversation?

Starbucks Lady smiles and tilts her head in confusion,
a la RCA Victor dog.

BRETT (cont.)
Ya know, a Starbucks that doesn't offer
coffee really doesn't require a worker
in an apron, does it? It would get a lot
more use from a sign saying CLOSED --
NO COFFEE.

Starbucks Lady still smiles, head still cocked.

World music soothingly annoys from somewhere.

Brett still glowers, then turns to leave.

BRETT (cont.)
(to self)
I'm surrounded by idiots...

STARBUCKS LADY
Thank you! Please come again!

FADE OUT

19 April 2010

A Momentary Bout of Clarity

It happens sometimes that when writing on some project you will find some odd clue or hint of bit of cosmic guidance from nowhere -- a trail of cookie crumbs the Universe seems content to leave every once in a while if only to foll you into thinking that the great slobbering beast called "Reality" gives a fig for your happiness and well-being.

So here I am, contentedly banging my face onto the keyboard in an effort to make beauty fall out my ears and eye sockets and arranges themselves into words on a screen, and iTunes per usual is cranking through a random play of a few thousand songs, when that weird thing happens yet again: some totally random song cues up which not only fits the mood but actually totally describes the entire damned story in a way more perfect than you'd ever manage if you sat there face-banging for a hundred years nonstop.
I -- I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing
nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, for ever and ever
Oh we can be Heroes
just for one day

I -- I will be king
And you -- you will be queen
Though nothing will drive them away
We can be Heroes, just for one day
We can be Us
just for one day

I -- I can remember (I remember)
Standing, by the wall (by the wall)
And the guns shot above our heads (over our heads)
And we kissed
So nothing could fall (nothing could fall)
And the shame was on the other side
Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever
Then we could be Heroes
just for one day

We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day
We can be Heroes

No, this doesn't describe any specific story to you, but trust me -- it *is* this story I am working on, totally nailing the emotional core that I was trying to describe to some... well, "persons of surpassing relevance."

And there most surely is joy in Mudville tonight.
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B

13 April 2010

Greatest Song Lyrics Ever, vol. 63-A

"Bubble Gum," from Adam Carroll

Three sixty-five for a can of snuff was money poorly spent
Didn't see a girl or a car around so I threw it on the hot cement
Well I parked the car and I went to school when I came back in haste
There was a big ol' wad of bubble gum that was stuck there in its place

The sticky side of the yin and yang on my shoes cramps my style
Some joker's chompin' on a big league chew with a big fat Buddha smile
Countin' out my change from the I Ching I can't help but hold a grudge
Was it bubble gum or bad karma? Let my guru be the judge
Was it bubble gum or bad karma? Let my guru be the judge

My foot got stuck when I hit the gas and I swerved to miss a skunk
And I ran into a bus load full of ten Tibetan monks
Their bus was wrecked, nobody got hurt, but they cussed me really loud
This had to be the first time that they broke their silence vow

I said please don't call the cops and I offered them some wine
We played chinese checkers and they beat me every single time
They stole the car and they grabbed the wine they said "you were bound to lose"
And I got left on the side of the road with bubble gum on my shoes

The sticky side of the yin and yang on my shoes cramps my style
Some joker's chompin' on a big league chew with a big fat Buddha smile
Countin out my change from the I Ching I can't help but hold a grudge
Was it bubble gum or bad karma? Let my guru be the judge
Was it bubble gum or bad karma? Let my guru be the judge

Stumbled my way back to town and the blues came down on me
I couldn't get back to my humble home cause the monks had took my keys
I sat down on the doormat -- I hung my head and wept
I spent the night trying to meditate out on my front porch steps

The days go by with the sun and the moon, no better or no worse
Bubble gum and bad karma is gonna be my dyin' curse
Well I might come back as the Dalai Lama -- I might come back as a clown
I hope that things are different in my next time around

I might come back as the Dalai Lama -- I might not come back at all
I might come back as a holy cow that's grazin' in Nepal
I think Ho Chi Minh's got herpes but Confucious he was cool
Bubble gum makes you stutter and snuff just makes you drool

Well I might come back as an outlaw rickshaw driver named Omar
But if I had things the way I wanted them...
I'd be picking the hindu blues...
with Keith Richards and Ravi Shankar

The sticky side of the yin and yang on my shoes cramps my style
Some joker's chompin on a big league chew with a big fat Buddha smile
Countin out my change from the I Ching I can't help but hold a grudge
Was it bubble gum or bad karma? Let my guru be the judge
Was it bubble gum or bad karma? Let my guru be the judge


-=-=-

Think about it, darlin....
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B