08 November 2007

*CHIRP*

So i was again too late to bed, and was to much enjoying my too brief slumber when I'm wakened around 4:20 am by an annoying electronic "CHIRP" which seems to repeat every minute or so.

One of the smoke alarms apparently has a battery running down, so it's doing that damned annoying thing where it beeps and chirps to remind you that there is no reason for concern.

What a great idea.

So I plod around the kitchen and find the last of the replacement 9v batteries and install it and fall back into bed and roll over hoping to grab another 90 minutes of rest when...

*CHIRP*

A different smoke alarm chirps now. I wander through the house, trying to find which one it is, and this takes a while as the damned things only beep every minute or so when they are running down, and we have EIGHT smoke alarms (one in every bedroom, one at both ends of the upstairs hallway, one in the downstairs hallway), and it takes me six tries before I find the offending chirper, and given that we now have no more batteries I have to just disconnect that one and pull the dying battery to try and silence it, and as I am doing so I hear *CHIRP* again downstairs, so I dash down the stairs and trace this newest chirping harpie (harping chirpie?) and find that I'll need the stepladder to reach this one, so at 4:45 am I am dragging in the ladder from the garage top tear this fucking thing off the wall, and literally as I disconnect the wire I hear *CHIRP* from upstairs and I check every other alarm and find none of them making that *CHIRP* even though I keep HEARING that *CHIRP* sound, and around 5:05 am I find that the *CHIRP* is coming from that FIRST alarm which is disconnected and has the battery removed, and I am wondering what kind of capacitor is in there to carry a charge like that for a half hour of repeated *CHIRP* when I hear another *CHIRP* from downstairs and by now I am 37% mad and hurl myself down the stairs again and rush to check the previously removed alarm but find the *CHIRP* again comes from a DIFFERENT alarm -- the third to join in the fun so far -- and then ANOTHER one (upstairs again), and at this point I say FUCK IT (aloud) and turn on the coffeepot and decide my suck-assed day has now officially begun.

'Thanks, God."
.
.
.
B

8 comments:

marcoguarda said...

Well, that's highly unlikely, but if all the alarms were changed the battery the same day about the same time, with the same kind of battery, they *may* in theory have run out together in a few hours. But the odds such event would ever repeat I think are very low. Great battery production standard anyway.

japhy99 said...

You, my man, are me.

PJ McIlvaine said...

My smoke alarm goes off every time we make burgers. Go figure.

Patrick J. Rodio said...

Well, for safety, you should check all smoke detectors once a month.....But on this day, if I were you, I'd have to beat them all to death, and pissed all over their shattered remains.

By the way, I finally added you onto my links when I noticed you weren't on there!!!!

Patrick J. Rodio said...

Well, for safety, you should check all smoke detectors once a month.....But on this day, if I were you, I'd have to beat them all to death, and pissed all over their shattered remains.

By the way, I finally added you onto my links when I noticed you weren't on there!!!!

Brett said...

I think it says a lot about me that I have for so long neglected to offer a public rebuke for that hateful oversight. ;-)
.
.
.
B

Chuck said...

So, this constant chirping never alerted you to the column of black smoke rising from the den, or the hungry orange flames licking out from under the basement door?

MoviePen said...

A good rule of thumb is to change the batteries in your smoke detectors every time you move the clocks forward (or back).

It's still on my to-do list, unfortunately.