29 December 2006

finally, a screenwriting book that i like

I have a reputation (based almost entirely upon fact, thank you very much) of disliking most all books on screenwriting. There's all sorts of fancy sounding reasons I could throw out there to justify this attitude, but pretty much all of them boil down to the simple fact that most all of these advice and how-to books are written by people with a clear history of not actually using their own advice for much (if any) practical effect success.

But The Wife gave me a book for Christmas, HOLLYWOOD DEVIL: THE SCREENWRITER AS GOD by legendary Hollwood bad boy Joe Ezsterhas, writer of such big name movies as BASIC INSTINCT, JAGGED EDGE, FLASHDANCE, SLIVER, SHOWGIRLS, etc. If you follow screenwriting personalities and stories, then you know who Ezsterhas is and why he rates any notice of consideration: when you look at the top-selling screenplays of all time, Joe's name is attached to something like 7 of the 12 priciest screenplay deals in the history of the game.

But beyond just the financial success he enjoyed, Ezsterhas, perhaps more than any other screenwriter, managed a degree of celebrity and notoriety usually reserved for actors and directors. He was the closest thing the game has yet seen to "a screenwriting rock star." And he lived life in proper rockstar fashion during the heyday of his success, acting like a mouthy overly indulged chemically imbalanced manic freakshow willing and eager to bed whatever woman might accept his advances.

It all makes for some hilarious and often educational reading.

I fear it might also reinforce some screwy ideas and attitudes in my own head, however, as I recognize various beliefs and positions in Ezsterhas's makeup which seem curiously similar to some of my own. The cocksure/arrogant willingness to accept your own brilliance and ability in the face of morons trying to argue otherwise. The barely controlled rage and urge to assault morons and know-nuthinks eager to try and bring you down or waste your time and energy merely because they can. The love of annoying and offending those who are easily annoyed and offended.

Is the book rocket science or sure to change your life? Hell, no, but it might give you a second opinion on the necessity of always behaving like an overly accommodating meek worm eager to sacrifice any ethical or moral high ground in the hopes of starting or perpetuating a career in an industry where ethics and morals often little more than garnish (pretty, but irrelevant). There are concepts and personalities who truly rate our respect and allegiance, and then there are others who just as surely deserve scorn and contempt, and Joe has never been shy about describing who sorts into which pile.

For my money, Ezsterhas's book demonstrates the benefits — and dangers — of hyper-developed ego, and does so with the sort of angry bull in a china shop glee that seems rare among successful people in any field of endeavor. He clearly loves what he does, and he has fun loving it.

We could all do far worse.
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18 December 2006

something in the water?

I've grumbled and groaned before about the low quality of online postings, but seriously -- what's going on out there? Did someone pull the plug on the sink of intelligence, as most all the content of any interest or ntoability seems to be swirling down the drain hole.

Most discussion boards seem to be sucking huge amounts of warm air, overflowing with pointless insipid whiny non-funny stabs at wit and pith and insight but which end up coming across like a 17 year old nerd raging at the gods at a bad party in the throes of his first beer buzz. Blog posts are down, and responses too (at least, they surely seem so on the few dozen blogs I still manage to stay at all interested in).

Maybe it's the holidays, or maybe it's just that everyone is focused elsewhere (likely pretending to be shit-hot 18 year old lesbians on MySpace...), or maybe I'm just projecting some sort of self-loathing onto the Universe as a whole, and the problem is actually all in my head (unlikely, as in recent poling some 76% of the voices I hear in there agree with me that WE are fine and everything else is the problem).

What's wrong with you people?

Say something interesting. Or funny. Or intelligent. Or something.
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so above you all that I suffer near-constant nosebleeds B

13 December 2006

curious...

...but why is it that a lot of teh scripts I am most eager to read seem not available anywhere online?

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA?

ANIMAL HOUSE?

ROCKETEER?

I did manage to read ANIMAL HOUSE in printed form at the WGA library, but that was a little too "precious" for me (I half expected a monk with a tonsure to bear the sacred text to me while whispering prayers...), plus it gets pricey to travel to LA just to read that script....
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09 December 2006

can’t get over the hump

Sometimes we face challenges which turn out to be more serious than we imagined. Which resist our best efforts to surmount. Which remain a constant ongoing pain in the ass despite all we can sensibly think to do.

I have such an issue these days, and it’s really starting to twist my kickers into a knot.

I speak, of course, about that damned “How Much Is Your Blog Worth?” link feature thing somewhere below on my page. Simply put, the link tracks the imaginary “worth” or your website through some algorithm which calculates a monetary value based upon the number and popularity (“worth”) of links to and from your site. The more big-name high traffic sites which think enough of your site to link to you, the more your site is “worth.”

And for the longest time now—months—my blog—this stupid damned site upon which your virtual fanny now sits—has been stuck at the alleged value of $6,774.48.

And it’s the “48 cents” part which really irks me whenever I bother to glance at the site for an updated figure. How is that possible? My traffic has been increasing (roughly on a glacial pace to match inflation, but increasing dammit), the quality of the writing and thinking behind it remains beyond compare (shaddup), and I have yet to degrade myself by posting pictures of kittens, bikini bimbos, or links to already overexposed YouTube clips.

Seriously: how can that silly valuation stay parked on such a specific number for three or four months? That’s a lifetime in internet time, and you’re telling me that property values have remained that stable?

I know that it’s not my fault, whatever the problem is, and I think that point is, as-ever, clear and non-debatable. (Since the shameful 1987 Mistake episode, I have been extra careful and made no errors or missteps of any kind, so obviously this one ain’t on me, kids.)

Clearly the bulk of the blame falls to you, gentle readers. You’re just not doing enough to boost my imaginary arbitrary value. And I think I’ve been more than patient. So now it’s time for you no-account shiftless ingrates to rededicate yourselves to boosting my blogs pretend value.

Or else I’m gonna start posting pictures of kittens.

And don't think I won't do it.
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03 December 2006

quick and dirty: ideas floating in the puddle of my mind

Austin... rewrites... timberframing... Iceland... coffee... Zarathusra... outlines... longboats... Christmas lights... Narragansetts... YouTube... Terlingua... Stalingrad... self-delusion... walnut... folded steel... catalysts... Hollywood... the left-center power alley... nurses... framing nailers... the Napo River... Scarlett Johansson... IMDBpro... loglines... high-concept... built-in bookcases... iPod... Jamie Foxx... Aggie basketball... "*I* have a rocket..."... el chupacabra... Scarlett Johansson... Leon Redbone... drywall... Seven Mile Beach on Grand Cayman... peanut butter... shotgun-option spread offense... Yakovlev fighters... the Blanco River... Shiner 97... Dick Shawn dancing the go-go... a Jack Ruby sandwich... Scarlett Johansson... Scarlett Johansson... Scarlett Johansson...
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